Thursday, May 05, 2005

Guest Post - on Revisionist History

Let me say first off that I enjoy “revisionist” history. I am so pretentious and all knowing that my version of history must be correct. Never mind that it doesn’t fit into the rest of history or that it really doesn’t make any sense in the timeline, it must be right because it fits into my ideals of what the world is really like. Don’t like something about history? Doesn’t fit into your philosophical system or completely destroys what you believe to be correct? Change it. No one cares. Most people don’t know that much about history to debate you anyway. Just about anything can be changed too – yeah, nothing is really off limits.

What I take enjoyment in doing is switching focus. Switching focus is kind of like taking your eye off the ball. For example, it is a proven fact that Europeans, starting in Europe, and then among immigrants of the United States, accomplished much in the way of invention and innovation. (Refer to Charles Murray’s book, “Human Accomplishments”). But you may not like this idea. So an effective way around it would be to dismiss their accomplishments and focus on things like the treatment of their slaves, any type of chemical or alcohol abuse, and if there was adultery – and hey, even if there wasn’t, throw it in! The more negative news the better and it really doesn’t have to be true. The goal here is to dismiss the greater good they did for the world and civilization for their vices.

Another example would be Thomas Jefferson. Yeah, sure he wrote the Declaration of Independence, but who cares? He had slaves; he was a gambler and a womanizer. It was also rumored that he took out an entire tribe of Indians by getting them all addicted to alcohol for which they have never recovered: and single-handedly started the slaved trade. (Improvisation is a perfect way to blur facts from generalizations) You could just turn it into a bit of a game. Madlib it! The world leader or event is chosen for you – and you randomly just throw out negative “facts” and behaviors. At the end the person will tell you the random person chosen for you, and with the information provided by you, you get to hear the history and life of said awful person.

Lets do an event - the sinking of the Lusitania. Of course it was the Germans that sunk the ship, but I bet you didn’t know that the Americans were the cause. There were three explosions on the ship after the German sub sent its torpedo. Where did the remaining explosions come from when there was only one torpedo? The fact is, is that there was ammunition on the ship. When I heard about this, I asked myself, how the United States government could act so irresponsibly as to put ammunition on a ship with civilian passengers? It is incomprehensible for me to understand how a government could act so evil as to load ammunition for a war on a passenger liner – so that it could be blown up even more by the Germans when they shot to sink it. The only thing that makes sense to me here is that Roosevelt must have done this on purpose to deliberately bring the US into WWI. Evil takes many forms my friends – this one takes the form of a crippled man with Polio. (What, what war was Roosevelt in? Oh, be quiet. This is revisionist history!!!)



Anonymous John said...

Would that be Secretary of the Navy Roosevelt perhaps?

May 15, 2005 2:36 PM  

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